Getting Unstuck
I spent this summer watching my business fall away. What was happening? My mood was plummeting, my husband wondered why I was so cranky and I began to wonder if I was really making the right choices in my life. As I panicked and looked for the hole in the dike to put my finger in I realized I couldn’t blame employees, or bureaucracy or poor systems. Since I’m the only one in my biz, it had to be about me. Finally I realized I was stuck in a familiar quagmire that was actually rather predictable for me. Once I realized that the changes needed to come from the inside, I went on a very purposeful mission to learn what was keeping me stuck and how the heck to get out of it. I’m happy to say I was quite successful and now full of energy, action, creativity and possibility. I want to share with you what I’ve learned, because I imagine that you’ve experienced stuck too. I’ll give you a roadmap to follow right out of the quicksand. Here’s some of what worked for me. I:
Hired a Coach who had what I wanted. Who better to be a purposeful guide than someone who had already done it! My Coach asked me to write about what was happening for me, where it had happened before, and how my brain considered this something wrong with me. I quickly determined that old limiting beliefs and patterns were at the core of being stuck. As I uncovered layer by layer what was holding me back, my Coach continued to be in conversation and ask just the right questions to propel me further into my own process.
Saw the pervasiveness of my beliefs and patterns. I had one basic belief that was holding me back big time and a recurring and limiting pattern that cropped up predictably in my professional situations. When I began I thought this was all about my business, but I came to see that this belief and pattern were woven throughout my entire life. In seeing them as threads woven completely through my personal fabric, I finally got a clear picture of the entirety of their impact, which allowed me to let go of the ‘something’s wrong with me’ refrain.
Experienced the feelings in my body. All of our beliefs and actions are there for a reason and if they limit us they often do so as a protective measure. I regularly got into a quiet comfortable space, which for me is meditation, and allowed the feeling that came with my limiting belief to surface completely. I found this feeling right between the bottom of my throat and my solar plexus and simply focused on that body feeling as it deepened and shifted, until I felt the symptoms of that body feeling fall away. This allowed me to expand my tolerance of feelings of frustration and anxiety. This is really important for the next step.
Looked for opportunities to practice. My limiting belief had to do with not expressing my opinions and deep held values and beliefs truly and fully in public. Interesting, since I speak and teach in public with no problem. The limitations came in those areas in which I felt vulnerable – my core, and places I did not feel like an expert. So, I allowed myself to begin to express and feel vulnerable in a variety of situations. Ironically I got positive results and negative responses. Both were fabulous and incredibly validating and belief busting. Of course you understand the positive, but the negatives were actually better since after a little wound licking I realized I was quite fine. I have grown enough in my life to let go of those old wounds.
Chose right action. Here’s where intuition and gut feeling comes in. Intuition and your own knowing is such a powerful tool and often provides exactly the right direction. Throughout this growth process I kept asking the 2 power questions: ‘What do I want?’ and ‘How does this serve me?’ I made a commitment to myself to follow the answers. This meant often that I took a walk instead of watching Oprah, or I meditated instead of answering emails. But when I took the right action (instead of just action) my flow seemed to open tremendously.
Practiced tremendous self-care. For me this meant beginning my day with meditation, eating well, and moving my body every day. Massage, chiropractic and pedicures fit in there too as did social contact with those who I love to be around. Taking care of my body actually released some intense creative energy in me and ideas flew into my head as I spent my time on the treadmill. This step opened the door to inspiration.
Created a power statement. Not only did I replace my limiting belief with one that works better for me, I came up with a statement that absolutely inspires me: I claim my potential and possibility! That is like a jump-start for me. It can give me a supercharge when my brain begins to slide back into the old comfortable groove.
I know there are more limitations to deal with in my own wonderful head, and right now I am celebrating and joyfully playing with my unlocked potential and wonderfully energetic self.
What’s holding you back? I encourage you to practice the steps above, and modify them or include your own, in order to bust past your limiting beliefs. You are your own greatest limiter. And, if you need some help give me a call. I have what you want!
© 2005 Catherine A. Bruns. Women’s Success Coach Catherine Bruns delights in working with women who wish to achieve great success in their personal and professional lives. For more information visit http://www.coachbalance.com
